What follows is a chronological retelling of the glory that it is to be allowed to use EA’s Origin gaming service.
6:35PM
I sit down, giddily, to get some Battlefield 3 action in. I preloaded my game days ago, so it’s just sitting there waiting for me. I click to launch it and… Origin can’t.
“Please make sure this game is installed properly and try again.” Dutifully, I check my install files and path. All looks well, so I restart Origin. Origin complains that it cannot activate my copy of the game, and that I should make sure I’m using the same account I did when I bought the game. It helpfully tells me “You are signed in as: ”
Helpfully (I think), I offer to use the “sign in as a different user” option to revalidate my credentials. Origin rejects them after thinking carefully about it, deeming them unworthy. On a lark, I log in to Battlelog. Returning to Origin, I find that my credentials are suddenly accepted. It’s a miracle! My elation is short-lived, however, as Battlefield 3 hangs on launch.
Why don't you try to work again instead?
Thinking cleverly, I launch my soon-to-be favorite new game directly from the Start menu, where Origin helpfully plopped a shortcut for me. It hangs for three minutes before presenting me with the same credential failure. It fails validation again.
I give up and restart the computer.
7:10PM
After a failed (but recovered!) upgrade of graphics drivers and a shiny new restart, I’m sure I can tackle the world. Restart Origin.
Restart Origin with administrator rights. Eh? Eh? Guys?
This is so much better than that OS X beach ball.
I stare at this for ten or fifteen minutes—it’s strangely soothing. At some point, I snap out of it. I must have done something wrong. What’s that? Battlefield 3 has a repair option? Sweet fancy Moses! Origin informs me that it will download another 11.5GB of files to replace missing or corrupted files for me. Done and done. This goes quickly enough, thanks to fast Euro internet. Sadly, it was not to last. Origin repeatedly fails to install the repair updates it downloaded. In a fit of glee, I destroy the entire Origin folder, wiping out the game, its installers, and everything it ever held dear to its cold little heart. Restart Origin.
7:40PM
With its substructures wiped from underneath it, Origin cheerfully tells me that Battlefield 3 is ready to download! Let’s do this. As it churns, I while away the minutes catching up on Ars’ three-part thriller about an old 48-hour video game contest in Queensland. (It’s quite good, by the way).
At 8:01PM, one hour and twenty-six minutes after I sat down to play, Battlefield 3 shows that it’s ready to play again. I click.
And that's when I went outside.
Like old friends, Origin’s impotence and my sadness meet each other and embrace. While we wait, we chat about the weather, how the kids are doing, whether the other thinks they’ll get that job promotion they’ve been gunning for. (Frankly, I find Origin’s chances slim). Quietly, almost imperceptibly, the activation screen continues to spin. “Maybe tomorrow,” it says.
“Learn from Steam,” I say.
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